Memorial Candles

This year our Christmas celebration is going to be a little smaller than it has been the past few years. There are two people we love and miss that won't be able to make it because they had very important appointments with Jesus that they had to keep. On February 29th Frank, my husbands grandfather, received an offer he couldn't refuse. The opportunity to go to heaven and never feel pain or suffering again. I know its selfish of us, but we simply weren't ready to see him go. We were all still trying our best to cope with life without Grandpa when we received more life changing news. On May 4th Tina, Frank's daughter and my husbands mother, followed her dad to an eternal peaceful slumber. It's never easy to loose a loved one, but I feel like the younger they are when they leave us the harder it is to understand why they had to go. Why did they have to go? I think we all ask this question when someone we love is gone, but I don't think that question truly has an earthly answer. I think the answer is beyond human understanding, it's more than we can wrap our very small human perspectives around.

The back to back losses have left our family with a roller coaster of conflicting emotions. Actually that's an understatement, but if I get into the entire spectrum of emotions that all of my surviving loved ones have felt I'll never be done typing. For me, right now, the hardest part is watching everyone I love suffer through their grieving. I do my best to encourage everyone to remember the good times, the funny things said, the delicious meals shared, and all the moments of great pride. I know my words fall short of causing any real healing because I've hardly convinced myself to maintain that perspective. I continue to try.

For Christmas I wanted to have a real memorial for Frank and Tina. Something we could see and touch to remind us all of the good times we shared with them and to reassure ourselves that we haven't, and wont, forget to celebrate their lives.

I don't know what reminded me of it, but many months ago I saw a pin for making your own customized candles. I was trying to find a way to honor Frank and Tina while giving my family a memorial to remember them by and I decided to make memorial candles. 

Most everyone I know has someone they love who now lives in heaven. Just in case you've been searching for an idea, like this, to honor a loved one with I'm going to share how easy and affordable it is to make your own.

I spent a great deal of time finding perfect and comforting quotes. It was a more difficult task because I had to find two. Whenever I found one I liked it seemed that the previous quotes we're less adequate. I didn't want to feel like I'd given Frank a less memorable quote than Tina, nor Tina less than Frank. Finally I found two that seemed to be of equally great quality.

Revelations 21:4

After I had the text, font styles, and lay out just right I printed all the text that I wanted to put on my candles onto tissue paper. To get the tissue paper to run through the printer I had to tape it to a piece of copy paper.  If your not sure which side of the paper your printer will print on you may want to do a test print. Put an 'X' on one side of a piece of paper and  print, remember where the 'X' was when you loaded the paper and notice where it is when the printer spits out the finished product. Doing this should help you to figure out whether to have the tissue paper facing up or down when you load it into the printer.

After I had my text on tissue paper I cut it out and figured out how I wanted it placed on the candle. I placed the tissue paper on the candle and wrapped it in wax paper. I had to make sure the tissue paper was completely covered by wax paper and then, set on high heat, I turned the hair dryer on. I went over the entirety of the tissue paper with the hair dryer. The tissue paper disappeared into the candle as the wax melted slightly. As soon as the tissue paper had disappeared into the wax I knew it was done. It took less than a minute, but it did burn my fingers. When I do it again I'll wear gloves (I'm sure I'll be making more sets for other family members to keep in their homes).

I'm satisfied with the finished product. It's no where near as comforting as one more hug from either Frank or Tina, but it is a beautiful memorial to remember them by until it's our time to join them.

Thank you for reading, and for all the thoughts and prayers I know you're sending for mine and Jamie's families during the holidays. I know Jamie is planning to sharing how she and her family honor Jeremy's life during the Christmas season. We both pray with our whole hearts that what we share helps someone during their time of healing.

 We hope your holidays are cheery and full of joyful memories like ours are.

The reality of losing a sibling; from the big sister. Pt 2

The reality of losing a sibling; from the big sister.

Part Two

Read Part One here

The days after Jeremy died were a blur. I'm going to share what I remember.

April 27, 2012

Upon entering the house, after telling my mom the news, we escorted her to the kitchen table. She missed the chair while trying to sit and the entire table almost toppled over. (Prior to her arrival, we had already discussed the possibility of having to call an ambulance.) My mother had a history of hyperventilating and anxiety. For a brief moment, I thought I'd watch her be carted away.  I don't remember what time the police came to notify us, but he died at 8:32am. The screaming phone call was sometime around 10am. My mom didn't get home until around 11am. The Chaplin arrived before the officer. Everything was backwards. I had taken my mom's cell, the house phone, and my phone. In between checking on my mother and calling family, I was holding my own grief in.

The reality of losing a sibling; from the big sister. Pt 1

The reality of losing a sibling; from the big sister.

Part One - His wonderful life and tragic end

Read part two here

This series is deeply personal. I want to express the dirty truths; the guilt, grief, anger, and even jealousy. The things no one tells you, no one talks about, and the feelings you may even be ashamed of. It is part of a series... I'm not sure how many parts. In this part, an introduction and the tragic day of his death.

 This...

is Jeremy

He was born June 1, 1980. He is the youngest of 3. He loved dinosaurs as a kid.  He loved to prank people and joke around (as shown by his silly jacket above). He loved camping, boating, fishing, and hunting. He was handsome, funny, and ornery. We grew up with a close family, we fought ALL THE TIME. He was spoiled and a brat (I say this out of love). Growing up, there was a lot of jealousy. He was the baby, spoiled. He got everything he wanted. He wanted new clothes, he was handed my parents credit card.

Mother's day 2009

Did i say we fought all the time? Not just arguing. Fist fights. It wasn't until he was a teenager that we started getting along, but even through all the fights, we defended each other. When it came down to it, we were typical siblings. Jeremy didn't drink(with the exception of obsessive consumption of Mountain Dew), smoke, or do drugs. He wanted to wait until he was 21 to drink, I couldn't even tell you why. He was the designated driver for all of his friends. He would drop anything he was doing to help them. He loved my son. He gave him Mountain Dew in a sippy cup (highly illegal! My son, now almost 4, still isn't allowed to have pop), babysat, and spun him in a office chair for hours. You know, looking back, maybe he wasn't the best choice for a babysitter.