Blogging Goals for 2013

It's here, the first day of 2013. A brand new year, with all new adventures waiting to be unraveled. Yesterday, the last ever day of 2012, I reflected on the lessons I learned so far as a blogger and now I'd like to share my goals for the coming year. If I put them out there I'm more likely to follow through with them, right?


You may have notice, but we own the domain name dialogueof2moms.com. Unfortunately it currently just forwards you to my old blogger carlysodyssey.blogspot.com. In 2013 I want to quit using blogger to host our blog (and finally be rid of that silly carlysodyssey) and be running 100% under dialogueof2moms.com. That transition is hopefully not as much work as I'm anticipating it to be.

In 2013, preferably early on, I'm going to learn more about these Link Parties that other more successful bloggers are raving about. Then I'm going to join in on a few of them. I heard about them first on The Thinking Closest, a blog which I've mentioned reasonably often lately. From what I understand these link parties are show and tell shin-digs for bloggers. I have big hopes that getting involved in link parties will inspire many new projects, teach me more about blogland, and maybe even increase our traffic. Maybe, just maybe, little ol' newbie me will be able to help out other bloggers too.

It may sound strange but this year I'm also going to make it a point to get involved in other blogs. If I want and need support from other bloggers I think I need to make the first step and give other people out there a helping hand.

Lastly I want to get some followers. I'm shamed by our pitiful 13 likes on Facebook, 3 followers on Pinterest (2 of which are Jamie and I), 21 followers on Twitter, 7 Blogger members, and exactly 0 followers by email. I'm not sure what's stopping our readers from following us but I'm determined to figure it out and make it right! Feel free to leave any tips as a comment, I promise to take any negative feedback like a champ. By the time 2014 is here I want to have quadrupled our current following. That means turning our current grand total of 44 followers into a whopping 176. That shouldn't be too hard, right?

Four humble goals. This is doable. Now I have to go get started!

Thanks for reading :)

My Blogging Lessons of 2012

Today, this fateful last day of 2012, I would like to reflect on the lessons I've learned this year as a new blogger.

My first post, about mine and Logan's moon sand adventure, was published on November 11th. This means, could it be? I've only been blogging for 7 weeks! In the past 7 weeks (still can't believe it's only been 7 weeks!) I've learned a lot about the blog-o-sphere. 

Making Moon Sand

I think the most important thing for a blogger to learn is also the most obvious and probably doesn't need to be mentioned. I'm going to go ahead and throw it out there anyway: publish useful and original content. It's probably best that you learn this lesson before you even click that "Get Started" button and register for your first free blog account.

Find a photo editor and edit those photos. The most useful tip I've learned thus far is to edit my pictures with pixlr. I don't understand how pixlr escaped me, how did I not know about this amazing and FREE photo editor? I have to give credit where credit is due. I discovered pixlr while reading "10 Tips for New Bloggers... From a New Blogger" which I found on Lauren's blog "The Thinking Closet". Lauren saved me a nice chunk of cash. Before I found pixlr I was actually considering purchasing a photo editor just for the few features I need to touch up photos for blog entries. I've since then learned to use pixlr's advanced and efficient options. I've been able to create our custom headers, our social media buttons, and our background on top of editing photos for articles. Did I mention it's free?

"DIY Household Cleaners"
One of those articles I just couldn't
wait to publish... that no one read

 Design your site to be simple to navigate, easy to look at, and reflect your content BEFORE you publish your first post. This is the lesson I learned too late. My head was full of article ideas for money saving tips and so many other useful tid-bits and I was so anxious to get the knowledge out there that I put web design on the back burner. That was such a big mistake! The dynamic template I was using through Blogger was hard to understand and navigate, it gave my content a poor presentation, and it was overwhelmingly generic. No one bothered to tinker with it long enough to read any of my articles. Finally I caught the hint, and spent some time educating myself on the options I have through Blogger to customize our look (It helped that Jamie told me "I hate the way this looks" and I agreed.). I found a layout that was simple and began to customize widgets and write/edit code to come up with a look that suites "Living With Joe; the dialogue of two moms". Don't make this mistake, design your website first! Get inspiration from other blogs. I really enjoy the look of "Sweet T Makes Three" and "One Good Thing by Jillee" and even googled how to make some of their design concepts a reality for our Blogger sponsored site. Even though our look has come a long way I don't think we're done yet. If you want any help with your own blog please don't hesitate to ask! I love to help. No doubt, coming soon will be a post containing all the websites I visited for tips and tricks on customizing our blog.

"Unorthodox Diapering"
Another of my early posts
with low traffic

Connect with your readers. On December 11th I took a leap of faith and made a twitter account, a facebook page, and a pinterest account for "Living With Joe; the dialogue of two moms". And then made the addition of coordinating "Follow us on..." buttons to our side menu. Why was this a leap of faith? Because if no one follows us there's blatant evidence right there on our pages. The sad messages "0 people like this on facebook", "2 followers on Pinterest", ect. There's also the ridicule from the unsupporters in my day to day life, "You made a facebook page for your blog?". But the truth is, I didn't start publishing these articles for my own good, they're not for me to read. They're for you, so I need to have a way to get them to you. Not to mention a way for you to share the articles with other people who might be helped by the information. I also created the email address info@dialogueof2moms.com, giving our readers a way to communicate with us without having to leave a comment for the world to read.

Give your blog some predictability. Being the mom to an 18 month old little boy, the wife of a hard working man, the keeper of a home, the head of a customer service department (actually, the only person in the customer service department...), and an independent sales consultant leaves little, I mean no time for a structured blog posting schedule. Which also means no predictability for our readers. I've been trying to change that with our "Food Friday" posts. Maybe our other posts about beauty, life lessons, and DIY projects are at random intervals, but you can count on at least one new recipe every Friday. 

I hope that sharing my lessons learned helps you get a head of the learning curve! If you have a tip of your own don't be bashful, share it with us :) And as always, thanks for reading!

Outdated law promotes domestic violence

Please go to http://www.brown.senate.gov/contact

And choose message topic "request for help"

In the comments box, share your opinion and then paste this.

"I am a 25 year old single mother.

I am a victim of Domestic Violence. My son was in my arms when the domestic violence occurred. Charges were pressed with suspended sentences. See case 09CRB04840-A in City of Hamilton Municipal.

Since then, a restraining order has been put in place. See case DV09091299 in Butler county.

It was violated several times. Charges were pressed with suspended sentences. See Hamilton Police department case report 08732, Ross Township incident report 10-0145, Ross Township incident report 11 057 03, Ross Township incident report 11 060 04, Case 11CRB04178-A in City of Hamilton Municipal. Also, not reported to police, phone calls were received 4/27/2010 10:12am, 12/11/2010 5:32pm, 12/25/2010 11:57am, and 3/17/2011 1:40pm. Facebook messages 1/5/10, 4/29/11, as well as numerous vulgar status updates about his "babby's mom".

In Butler County probate court, case # PI 10-01-0001, You will find a hearing in which the Defendant illegally removed $4850 from my CSEA account. You will also find a judgement for $1000 in legal fees. The $4850 was returned. The $1000, however, was never paid.

The last child support payment I received was March 8, 2010. Which as you read above, was quite a fight to receive.

In addition, there is City Of Hamilton Municipal court cases 12CRB 00158-A (Disorderly conduct, Lowered from Domestic Violence) and 12CRB04178-A (receiving stolen property). Hamilton county case C/11/CRB/28135 (criminal trespassing and theft)

I am trying to have parental rights terminated. I would prefer to have rights terminated voluntarily, as he has agreed to once before. However, I have been informed by my lawyer that I must be married and there must be an adoptive party. If only you can imagine my disappointment. I have raised my son for 4 years with no help from his biological father. I have received child support in the form of one payment, and there are currently over $2500 in arrearages. It is considered old fashioned to frown upon unwed parents. I understand that many people will say "you chose to have a child with him". I did not choose for him to BECOME a drug addict and threaten my, and my son's, safety. He was a different person when I chose to be with him.

Domestic violence is a hard circumstance to escape. Victims usually attempt to leave 4 times before they are even successful. And in my circumstance, the court is FORCING me and my son to spend the next 14 years connected to our abuser. They are telling me that because I am not married, I do not have the same rights to escape my abuser. How can this be?

I understand the courts want to protect his rights as well, but what about my son's rights. He has not seen my son in over 3 years. Here are links to the U.S. Department of Health and Human services and UNICEF in regards to children and domestic violence.
http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/domesticviolence.cfm
http://www.unicef.org/protection/files/BehindClosedDoors.pdf

If it is about the best interest of the child... Why isn't any of this a factor... Why is my marital status the determining factor?

Jamie Stevison
jamie.tene@gmail.com"

The reality of losing a sibling; from the big sister. Pt 1

The reality of losing a sibling; from the big sister.

Part One - His wonderful life and tragic end

Read part two here

This series is deeply personal. I want to express the dirty truths; the guilt, grief, anger, and even jealousy. The things no one tells you, no one talks about, and the feelings you may even be ashamed of. It is part of a series... I'm not sure how many parts. In this part, an introduction and the tragic day of his death.

 This...

is Jeremy

He was born June 1, 1980. He is the youngest of 3. He loved dinosaurs as a kid.  He loved to prank people and joke around (as shown by his silly jacket above). He loved camping, boating, fishing, and hunting. He was handsome, funny, and ornery. We grew up with a close family, we fought ALL THE TIME. He was spoiled and a brat (I say this out of love). Growing up, there was a lot of jealousy. He was the baby, spoiled. He got everything he wanted. He wanted new clothes, he was handed my parents credit card.

Mother's day 2009

Did i say we fought all the time? Not just arguing. Fist fights. It wasn't until he was a teenager that we started getting along, but even through all the fights, we defended each other. When it came down to it, we were typical siblings. Jeremy didn't drink(with the exception of obsessive consumption of Mountain Dew), smoke, or do drugs. He wanted to wait until he was 21 to drink, I couldn't even tell you why. He was the designated driver for all of his friends. He would drop anything he was doing to help them. He loved my son. He gave him Mountain Dew in a sippy cup (highly illegal! My son, now almost 4, still isn't allowed to have pop), babysat, and spun him in a office chair for hours. You know, looking back, maybe he wasn't the best choice for a babysitter.

Gossip like its your job… at your job

      If there is anything people unanimously claim to hate(while also being guilty of the act)… it's gossip. I work with mostly women. At any given moment there are 10 staff members on my floor. The maximum amount that could be male… 2. Are the men excluded from this gossip? No! They are equally as guilty. And quite often, it seems, they are the center. The sad part is, that gossip can ruin even the most perfect job. It can make people miserable, adult bullying at its finest. With websites like TMZ and EOnline, The media makes us believe that its okay. It surly is not. We can go on and on about all of the reasons that gossip is wrong, but we all know that it is so lets skip that part. I've included tips from 2 different websites.

Here are some great tips from tinybuddha.com written by Shanti Sosienski -With comments from myself in green.