I Caught Logan... Being Good

It shames me to admit this but my son Logan, well, he's bad. Okay, not entirely bad, but he can be a real terror. We recently {to my complete horror} had a 6 week stretch of tantrum filled days. We're talking every day at least one, but usually more, melt down was triggered at seemingly random intervals for equally random reasons {or no reason at all...}. And these melt downs, oh, these melt downs. We're not talking whining and crying while grunting and reaching for a toy. I'm talking about kicking, screaming, throwing, hitting, headbutting extremely hard objects, so on, and such forth for 45 minutes or more. This whole bit had Logan and I completely exhausted. When it seemed like nothing was ever going to make it stop I doubted myself, I doubted his health, and I feared for our sanity.

I can now proudly say that we have been velociraptor incident free for 3 days. (in this metaphor Logan is the velociraptor and his tantrum is the incident, just FYI) I doubt we're in the clear but I finally feel like maybe, possible, I might have perhaps done some little bitty thing right. (But if you have any temper-tantrum stopping tips I'm still all ears).

From the original post at
wolfelicious.blogspot.com

This post isn't supposed to be all about how to dissect your child's actions to find a root cause and redirect an unwelcome behavior. However, I do want to tell you that it took more than looking at how the temper-tantrums themselves were handled. Now, how you react to your child's bad behavior is important, but I had to go beyond that. I evaluated his schedule, his diet, his other caretakers, and ect. There has been more than one change in our lives to get us pointed back in the right direction.

As we enjoyed out first 'good' day in several weeks I wanted to celebrate his good behavior! He was picking up his toys, listening, clearing his plate, and above all not having any fits {yet}!

I went through my board on Pinterest titled "For Logan" looking to get inspired. I was really just looking for a new fun activity we could enjoy that day but instead I got inspired to create this cute little way to incorporate positive reinforcement in our daily routine.

 Every time we catch Logan being good he gets to put a pom-pom in his jar. I let him put one in for the last two nights at bed time for having tantrum-free days. He shouts "Whoa!" and claps for himself, he knows this little action is a reward. I don't think he cares much that we're going to the Zoo when it's full, he's just tickled that he gets to pick his own pom-pom and put it in his jar.

Our ' Logan got caught... being good jar' is an old Yankee candle jar. I used a trick Jamie shared months ago about saving your old candle jars (see that post here). I printed my label on plain copy paper, mod-podged it on, and decorated it with help from my assisstant, Logan.

If any of our readers have any creative tips for encouraging positive behavior and eliminating bad behavior please, please, please share them here! If you want to talk more about how I evaluated Logan's behavior and the changes we made to help alleviate his tantrums I'm open to sharing my experiences. Just shoot me an email or leave a comment :)

Thanks for reading!

Outdated law promotes domestic violence

Please go to http://www.brown.senate.gov/contact

And choose message topic "request for help"

In the comments box, share your opinion and then paste this.

"I am a 25 year old single mother.

I am a victim of Domestic Violence. My son was in my arms when the domestic violence occurred. Charges were pressed with suspended sentences. See case 09CRB04840-A in City of Hamilton Municipal.

Since then, a restraining order has been put in place. See case DV09091299 in Butler county.

It was violated several times. Charges were pressed with suspended sentences. See Hamilton Police department case report 08732, Ross Township incident report 10-0145, Ross Township incident report 11 057 03, Ross Township incident report 11 060 04, Case 11CRB04178-A in City of Hamilton Municipal. Also, not reported to police, phone calls were received 4/27/2010 10:12am, 12/11/2010 5:32pm, 12/25/2010 11:57am, and 3/17/2011 1:40pm. Facebook messages 1/5/10, 4/29/11, as well as numerous vulgar status updates about his "babby's mom".

In Butler County probate court, case # PI 10-01-0001, You will find a hearing in which the Defendant illegally removed $4850 from my CSEA account. You will also find a judgement for $1000 in legal fees. The $4850 was returned. The $1000, however, was never paid.

The last child support payment I received was March 8, 2010. Which as you read above, was quite a fight to receive.

In addition, there is City Of Hamilton Municipal court cases 12CRB 00158-A (Disorderly conduct, Lowered from Domestic Violence) and 12CRB04178-A (receiving stolen property). Hamilton county case C/11/CRB/28135 (criminal trespassing and theft)

I am trying to have parental rights terminated. I would prefer to have rights terminated voluntarily, as he has agreed to once before. However, I have been informed by my lawyer that I must be married and there must be an adoptive party. If only you can imagine my disappointment. I have raised my son for 4 years with no help from his biological father. I have received child support in the form of one payment, and there are currently over $2500 in arrearages. It is considered old fashioned to frown upon unwed parents. I understand that many people will say "you chose to have a child with him". I did not choose for him to BECOME a drug addict and threaten my, and my son's, safety. He was a different person when I chose to be with him.

Domestic violence is a hard circumstance to escape. Victims usually attempt to leave 4 times before they are even successful. And in my circumstance, the court is FORCING me and my son to spend the next 14 years connected to our abuser. They are telling me that because I am not married, I do not have the same rights to escape my abuser. How can this be?

I understand the courts want to protect his rights as well, but what about my son's rights. He has not seen my son in over 3 years. Here are links to the U.S. Department of Health and Human services and UNICEF in regards to children and domestic violence.
http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/domesticviolence.cfm
http://www.unicef.org/protection/files/BehindClosedDoors.pdf

If it is about the best interest of the child... Why isn't any of this a factor... Why is my marital status the determining factor?

Jamie Stevison
jamie.tene@gmail.com"

The stay-home vs work struggle

As a full time nurse and full time mom… I'm struggling with doing both.

•Day care is expensive, at almost $700 a month for full time.
•I don't feel like my almost 4-year-old is getting the education I'd like. A lot of his crafts come home looking like an adult assembles them.
•Although he's getting to interact with other children, he's also bringing home their bad words, back talking, and poor behavior.
•My daycare was the only option, local daycares are open 6-6. I work 7-730. It has to be somewhere convenient for Joe or my parents to pick up.
•I don't think they take my concerns seriously. (Ie clothes being on right when I drop him off and backwards when I pick him up, kids biting-he was bit 8 times last summer, lack of behavior reports-I wanna be an active parent and aware of his behavior)
•Every class does not have a teacher with a degree.
•Finding a babysitter has proven to be a challenge. All my friends and family work.
•My schedule varies (three 12-hour shifts)… day care is a set schedule. Which means I'm paying for days I don't need. What a waste!!! Right now, I'm paying for 3 days/wk. Some weeks, I don't need to take him at all because of my work schedule.

How marriage changed Ashley and Jesse

Marriage is a beautiful thing. I was recently honored with the opportunity to be a part of the ceremony that united two of my closest friends. Ashley and Jesse. I can't tell you enough how awesome Ashley and Jesse are. It's their sense of humor that tops my list as the most awesomest thing about them, but that's shortly followed by a long list of other traits.

Here are Ashley and Jesse before they were engaged to be married:

They look like an awesome couple right?

Unorthodox Diapering Step 3

The Truth About Cloth Diapers

Step 3: Have a system in place for storing and washing dirty duds

See Step 1: convincing my husband that cloth diapers aren't lunacy
See Step 2: Pick your diaper

My most serious concern about using cloth diapers was putting baby poop in my washing machine. I did a great deal of investigation on how to make sure everything was sanitary. My investigation didn't turn up many results that referred specifically to disinfecting the diapers and the washing machine. I was genuinely surprised, I know I am NOT the only one that thinks poop is disgusting and cringes at the thought of washing their clothes in it. I figured out how to keep the germs at bay on my own using vinegar and tea tree oil. Both can be used as a disinfectant and are natural so they won't irritate a baby's bottom. You can see how I wash and disinfect the washing machine in my post Wash the Washer.

The reality of losing a sibling; from the big sister. Pt 1

The reality of losing a sibling; from the big sister.

Part One - His wonderful life and tragic end

Read part two here

This series is deeply personal. I want to express the dirty truths; the guilt, grief, anger, and even jealousy. The things no one tells you, no one talks about, and the feelings you may even be ashamed of. It is part of a series... I'm not sure how many parts. In this part, an introduction and the tragic day of his death.

 This...

is Jeremy

He was born June 1, 1980. He is the youngest of 3. He loved dinosaurs as a kid.  He loved to prank people and joke around (as shown by his silly jacket above). He loved camping, boating, fishing, and hunting. He was handsome, funny, and ornery. We grew up with a close family, we fought ALL THE TIME. He was spoiled and a brat (I say this out of love). Growing up, there was a lot of jealousy. He was the baby, spoiled. He got everything he wanted. He wanted new clothes, he was handed my parents credit card.

Mother's day 2009

Did i say we fought all the time? Not just arguing. Fist fights. It wasn't until he was a teenager that we started getting along, but even through all the fights, we defended each other. When it came down to it, we were typical siblings. Jeremy didn't drink(with the exception of obsessive consumption of Mountain Dew), smoke, or do drugs. He wanted to wait until he was 21 to drink, I couldn't even tell you why. He was the designated driver for all of his friends. He would drop anything he was doing to help them. He loved my son. He gave him Mountain Dew in a sippy cup (highly illegal! My son, now almost 4, still isn't allowed to have pop), babysat, and spun him in a office chair for hours. You know, looking back, maybe he wasn't the best choice for a babysitter.

Unorthodox Diapering Step 2

The Truth about Cloth Diapers

Step 2: Pick your diaper

Oh, no, it can't be as easy as choosing either cloth or disposables. After you've made the decision to go cloth you still have some more deciding to do!

I'm going to give you the break down on different cloth diaper features and the pros and cons I've experienced.

Unorthodox Diapering Step 1

The Truth About Cloth Diapers

Step 1: convincing my husband that cloth diapers aren't lunacy

Maybe I just have to do everything the hard way- I'm pretty sure that's what my husband would say, but I like to think that I chose cloth diapers because of all the hidden perks. Like: saving $1,500 a year per child, the non-impact my diapers are having on the landfills, the fewer harsh chemicals that my son's bottom comes in contact with.

Honestly, the 3k+ in savings was what did it for my family. Everything else was just an extra perk. My husband was NOT sold on this idea at first. He was pretty sure I'd gone loony-tunes with pregnancy, "A new baby is hard enough why are you trying to make it harder on yourself?"

Insert Random Happy Moments in Your Life

We like to do a fair number of random-happy-moment inserts here in the LaGory household. Today a good friend (and future co-contributor on this blog) stopped by to pick up her munchkin, Zachary. Suddenly there was an opportunity to insert a random happy moment that was followed by loads of laughter. What was the opportunity you ask? A 'toot'!